Humans are wired in ways that can sometimes lead to emotional distress. One scary fact is our tendency towards confirmation bias, seeking out information that confirms our existing beliefs and ignoring anything that contradicts them. This can create closed-mindedness and make resolving conflicts incredibly difficult.
Another unsettling fact is our brains’ negativity bias. Negative experiences leave a stronger imprint on our memory than positive ones, making it harder to appreciate the good things in life and potentially leading to a more pessimistic outlook.
Success itself can be a source of psychological stress. Many successful individuals experience the impostor syndrome, a constant fear of being exposed as a fraud despite their achievements. This self-doubt can fuel anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.
Our social lives can also be affected by our psychology. We often overestimate how much others notice and care about our mistakes, a phenomenon called the spotlight effect. This can lead to crippling social anxiety and self-consciousness, hindering our ability to connect authentically with others.
Finally, making decisions can be tricky. We can fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy, clinging to choices we’ve already invested in, even if they are no longer beneficial. This can lead to wasted resources and regret, hindering our ability to adapt and move forward effectively.
These are just a few examples of how our psychology can contribute to negative emotions and make navigating daily life challenging. While not inherently scary, these psychological quirks can undoubtedly have a significant impact on our well-being and mental health.
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Have you ever heard someone say, “Speak up for yourself”?
Well, that’s essentially what being assertive is all about.
It’s not about being loud or bossy; it’s about expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a confident and respectful way.
Think of it as finding that perfect balance between being too passive (keeping quiet and letting others walk all over you) and being too aggressive (pushing your opinions without considering others).
Definition of Assertiveness
Assertiveness is like being the Goldilocks of communication – not too soft, not too tough, but just right.
It’s about standing up for yourself while also respecting the rights and opinions of others.
Picture this: You’re in a group discussion, and you have an idea, but you’re hesitant to share it because you’re worried about what others might think. Assertiveness would mean speaking up confidently, expressing your idea without bulldozing over others, and listening to their thoughts too.
The Importance of Assertiveness in Personal Empowerment
Why does assertiveness matter?
Well, imagine going through life never speaking up for what you want or need. It’s like sitting on the sidelines while everyone else gets to play the game.
Assertiveness is your ticket to the game – it gives you the power to take charge of your own life.
When you’re assertive, you’re more likely to get what you want, whether it’s in relationships, school, or future careers.Plus, it helps you build confidence and self-esteem because you’re showing yourself and others that your voice matters!
5 Characteristics of Assertive Behavior
Let’s dive into what it means to be assertive. Here are some key characteristics:
Clear Communication: Assertive folks are like straight shooters. They say what they mean and mean what they say, without beating around the bush. No cryptic messages or hidden agendas here!
Respect for Others: Being assertive doesn’t mean steamrolling over people’s feelings or opinions. It’s all about mutual respect. Assertive people listen to others, acknowledge their viewpoints, and respond thoughtfully.
Boundary Setting: Ever heard the phrase, “Know your boundaries”?Well, assertive people are boundary-setting masters. They know where their comfort zone ends and are not afraid to let others know.
Self-Confidence: Picture someone who walks into a room with their head held high and a smile on their face – that’s the aura of assertiveness. Assertive individuals believe in themselves and their abilities, which shines through in how they carry themselves.
Problem-Solving Skills: When conflicts arise, assertive people don’t run for cover. Instead, they tackle problems head-on, seeking win-win solutions that benefit everyone involved.
Contrasting Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication Styles
Now, let’s talk about the different ways people communicate:
Passive Communication: Have you ever heard someone talking about others being a doormat? That’s passive communication in action. People who communicate passively tend to avoid conflict at all costs. They might keep their thoughts and feelings bottled up, fearing they’ll rock the boat or upset others.
Aggressive Communication: On the flip side, aggressive communication is like a bulldozer – it runs over everyone in its path. Aggressive communicators tend to dominate conversations, disregard others’ feelings, and prioritize their own needs above all else.
Assertive Communication: And then there’s assertive communication – the sweet spot between passive and aggressive. Assertive communicators express themselves clearly and confidently, but without trampling on others’ rights. They’re firm without being aggressive, calm without being passive – they’ve got that Goldilocks balance we talked about earlier
So, which communication style do you think you lean towards?
It’s worth reflecting on – because mastering assertive communication can make a world of difference in how you navigate the ups and downs of life.
Assertiveness in Personal Relationships
Here are some assertive things you can say in your personal relationships:
“I appreciate spending time with you, but I also need some alone time to recharge.”
“I feel hurt when you cancel plans without letting me know in advance. It’s important to me that we communicate better about our schedules.”
“I value your opinion, but I have a different perspective on this matter. Let’s discuss it openly and find a compromise.”
“I need you to respect my boundaries when it comes to physical affection. Please ask for consent before hugging or kissing me.”
Assertiveness in the Workplace:
“I believe my contributions to this project are worthy of recognition. Can we discuss the possibility of a promotion or raise?”
“I’m not comfortable taking on additional tasks right now as I’m already maxed out. Let’s explore alternative solutions to manage my workload.”
“I disagree with the approach outlined in the meeting. Here’s why I think we should consider an alternative strategy.”
“I appreciate your feedback, but I stand by my decision on this matter. I’ve carefully considered the options and believe it’s the best course of action.”
Assertiveness in Conflict Resolution:
“I understand we have different perspectives on this issue, but I’m committed to finding a resolution that works for both of us.”
“I feel frustrated when our discussions turn into arguments. Can we establish some ground rules for communication to prevent this in the future?”
“I apologize if my actions were misunderstood, but I stand by my intentions. Let’s work together to address any misunderstandings and move forward.”
“I hear your concerns, but I need some time to reflect before we continue this discussion. Let’s reconvene when we’re both in a calmer state of mind, say 30 minutes?”
These examples demonstrate how assertive statements can be used to express thoughts, feelings, and boundaries in various contexts, fostering healthy communication and conflict resolution.
The Benefits of Assertiveness
Assertiveness offers a myriad of benefits,from fostering higher self-esteem to building unwavering confidence, empowering you to navigate life’s complexities with resilience and authenticity.
Research on assertiveness and self-esteem consistently shows that assertiveness is linked to higher self-esteem. By confidently expressing thoughts and needs while respecting others, you reinforce your self-worth, leading to greater overall well-being.
Practicing assertiveness empowers you, helping you confront challenges and negotiate effectively. Authentic communication fosters trust and connections with others, boosting confidence over time. Ultimately, assertiveness cultivates resilience and authenticity in navigating life’s hurdles.
Pitfalls and Challenges of Assertiveness
Assertiveness has its upsides, but it’s not without its challenges.
Fear of conflict or rejection is a big one.
Many people hold back from asserting themselves because they’re scared of arguments or being turned down. This fear often comes from past experiences where speaking up caused trouble, leading some to stick with passive communication to avoid rocking the boat.
However, avoiding assertiveness can breed frustration and hurt in relationships.
Overcoming this fear means understanding that assertive communication is vital for expressing needs and boundaries. Learning how to communicate effectively and manage emotions helps build confidence over time.
Another challenge is balancing assertiveness with empathy.
Being assertive while considering others’ feelings can be tricky. Without empathy, assertiveness might come off as aggressive or dismissive. Striking the right balance means listening actively, validating others’ emotions, and seeking solutions that work for everyone.
Lastly, societal or cultural norms can make assertiveness tough, especially in cultures that prize harmony over speaking up.
Overcoming these barriers involves challenging ingrained beliefs about communication and seeking support from those who encourage assertiveness. By recognizing its importance and advocating for your needs, you can express yourself confidently despite societal pressures.
Strategies for Building Assertiveness
Learning how to be assertive means finding ways to speak up confidently without stepping on anyone’s toes.
Let’s look at three important ways to do this:
workshops
practice
getting help when needed
These methods give you real-world advice and support, helping you become more assertive and confident in how you communicate with others.
Assertiveness Training: Assertiveness training workshops help you learn how to speak up confidently while still being respectful. In these sessions, you’ll get clear instructions and hands-on practice to improve your communication skills. You’ll learn how to express yourself confidently while also considering other people’s viewpoints.
Communication Techniques: To strengthen your assertiveness, make sure to practice key communication skills regularly. Things like saying “I feel”instead of blaming others, listening actively, and using confident body language are important. Try practicing these skills in role-playing exercises and real-life situations. Over time, you’ll feel more confident speaking up for yourself and setting boundaries.
Support: If you’re working on being more assertive, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from mentors, counselors, or support groups. Talking with others who’ve been there can give you useful advice and keep you motivated. Sharing your experiences and getting feedback can boost your confidence in expressing yourself assertively. Plus, these places offer a safe space to talk about challenges and learn new strategies.
Conclusion: Learn to Feel Empowered and Assertive
Being assertive is key to feeling empowered and confident in various situations.
It helps us express our needs, set boundaries, and build better relationships.As we work on becoming more assertive, remember that it’s a journey that requires bravery and persistence. Every step forward brings us closer to realizing our potential and enjoying the positive impact assertiveness can have on our lives.
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Much of our recovery can occur in collaboration with others.
Pain, in its various forms, is an inevitable aspect of the human experience. Often, we endure it alone. However, being part of our highly social species offers a valuable resource for coping: other people.
The impact of others on our biology is undeniable. Someone’s presence can influence another’s breathing, heart rate, and chemicals in their bloodstream. A mother’s soothing voice can stabilize her premature baby, leading to fewer cardiorespiratory events. A spouse’s hand-holding can reduce the brain’s response to the threat of electric shocks. Strong relationships can help us live longer and happier lives.
“When you’re deprived of a certain food, or food in general, your sensory system tends to get more aroused to make food look, smell, and taste better,” Kate Sutton, LCMHC, a therapist and certified intuitive eating counselor based in Raleigh, North Carolina, tells SELF. It’s normal to experience intense cravings for food when you’re not getting adequate calories and to specifically crave foods that you’re avoiding or heavily limiting.
In a world of rapid change, looking for certainty can obscure opportunity. Taking smaller yet bold steps provides a more sure-footed path through uncertainty.
Fatigue, headaches, stomach pain and a higher risk of heart disease. Although these things may not make you think of grief at first, many people who experience a significant loss have these and other physical symptoms.
Some people cry during commercials, while others only tear up for very sad or happy moments. Sometimes, we even cry randomly. But what’s the reason behind the waterworks? Why do some people cry more than others? Is there any way to control it?
If you’ve ever released stress by dancing around your room to your favorite tunes or enjoyed a good cry with the help of a touching love song, you know how powerful music can be. It can lift you up when you’re low and calm you down when you’re anxious.
Music is a powerful tool for mood regulation and stress. The best part is, it’s always available to anyone who needs it.
Ancient Anxanum, the city of the Frentanese, has contained for over twelve centuries the first and greatest Eucharistic Miracle of the Catholic Church. This wondrous Event took place in the 8th century A.D. in the little Church of St. Legontian, as a divine response to a Basilian monk’s doubt about Jesus’ Real Presence in the Eucharist.
During Holy Mass, after the two-fold consecration, the host was changed into live Flesh and the wine was changed into live Blood, which coagulated into five globules, irregular and differing in shape and size.
The Host-Flesh, as can be very distinctly observed today, has the same dimensions as the large host used today in the Latin church; it is light brown and appears rose-colored when lighted from the back.
The Blood is coagulated and has an earthy color resembling the yellow of ochre.
Various ecclesiastical investigation (“Recognitions”) were conducted since 1574.
In 1970-’71 and taken up again partly in 1981 there took place a scientific investigation by the most illustrious scientist Prof. Odoardo Linoli, eminent Professor in Anatomy and Pathological Histology and in Chemistry and Clinical Microscopy. He was assisted by Prof. Ruggero Bertelli of the University of Siena.
The analyses were conducted with absolute and unquestionable scientific precision and they were documented with a series of microscopic photographs. These analyses sustained the following conclusions:
The Flesh is real Flesh. The Blood is real Blood.
The Flesh and the Blood belong to the human species.
The Flesh consists of the muscular tissue of the heart.
In the Flesh we see present in section: the myocardium, the endocardium, the vagus nerve and also the left ventricle of the heart for the large thickness of the myocardium.
The Flesh is a “HEART” complete in its essential structure.
The Flesh and the Blood have the same blood-type: AB (Blood-type identical to that which Prof. Baima Bollone uncovered in the Holy Shroud of Turin).
In the Blood there were found proteins in the same normal proportions (percentage-wise) as are found in the sero-proteic make-up of the fresh normal blood.
In the Blood there were also found these minerals: chlorides, phosphorus, magnesium, potassium, sodium and calcium.
The preservation of the Flesh and of the Blood, which were left in their natural state for twelve centuries and exposed to the action of atmospheric and biological agents, remains an extraordinary phenomenon.
Fig. 1 – Eosine x 200. Overall histological aspect of a Flesh sample with fibers collected in bundles with longitudinal orientation as it occurs in the outer surface layers of the heart. Fig. 2 – Miracle Heart in Lanciano. Mallory x 250. An artery and, very close, a branch of the vagal nerve. Fig. 3 – Miracle Heart in Lanciano. Mallory x 400. Evidence of the “Rough” aspect of the endocardium; the syncytoid structure of the myocardial tissue Fig. 4 – Elution-absorption test x 80. Above: Hemagglutination test on blood sample in Lanciano: on the left, anti A serum used; on the right, anti-B serum. Below: hemoagglutination test on a Flesh sample in Lanciano: left, with anti-A serum, right,with anti-B serum. It appears thus that the Flesh and the Blood in Lanciano belong to AB blood group. Fig. 5 – Electro-phoretic pattern of Blood proteins (Cromoscan photometer). The profile of serum fractions is normal and superimposable to that of a fresh serum sample.
In conclusion, it may be said that Science, when called upon to testify, has given a certain and thorough response as regards the authenticity of the Eucharistic Miracle of Lanciano.
For information, books, pamphlets, slides, postcards, and souvenirs of the Sanctuary, please apply to:
Santuario del Miracolo Eucaristico Frati Minori Conventuali 66034 Lanciano (CH), Italy Telephone: (0872) 713189
If you wanted to boil down 2023 to one concept, it would have to be generative AI (gen AI). Few of us can remember a technology that has swept through the business community with such speed and impact. Hardly a day passes without a new development hitting the headlines. While still blanketed with caveats and unknowns, gen AI stands to have a profound impact on how we live and work.
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