“Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” – John F. Kennedy
Leadership is not a static achievement but a dynamic journey. In the fast-paced, ever-evolving world of business and society, resting on past accomplishments is a recipe for obsolescence. As a leadership and motivational expert, I emphasize that continual personal and professional development is crucial. It’s not just about acquiring new skills; it’s about fostering a mindset of perpetual growth and adaptability. Leaders who cease to evolve risk not only their own stagnation but also the vitality of their organizations.
Performance management systems help people continuously develop—but most companies fall short of best practices. A set of defined design choices can help guide leaders forward.
If we were all suddenly a little younger and had a passion for basketball, for example, we might look to Michael Jordan, Stephen Curry, or one of the great female basketball stars in order to see how the game should be played. An aspiring writer might read Shakespeare or Hemmingway in order to see how writing should be done. If we want to know how to love, we look to Jesus who is the standard for love. Our focus on that standard brings us together in unity.
In his book, “the pursuit of God,” AW Tozer said this: “Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to the standard to which each one must individually must bow. So, one hundred worshipers (meeting) together, each one looking to Christ, are in heart, nearer to each other than they could possibly be, were they to come in “unity” focused not on God, but on trying to work things out on their own between each other.”
Today we hear the conclusion of Jesus’ prayer at his last meal with the disciples. Jesus prays not only for the disciples, but for those as he says “who will believe in me through their word.” In other words, he prays for us.
The prayer underlines the importance of remaining united to one another in Christ. Only if Christians remain united in Christ, will evangelization be fruitful and enable others to come to believe.
It’s interesting to look at the various commentaries that are available that discuss this Gospel, as it relates to Christ’s plea for unity. Some see it as a call to unify under the mantle of the Catholic Church. Others see it as a kind of charter for the ecumenical movement- bringing together Christians across all denominations.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that “Christ bestowed unity on his Church from the beginning”, and that unity “subsists in the Catholic Church”. This vision of unity comes from accepting that Christ is head and that he chose to lead us through Saint Peter and all the popes and bishops who came from his line of ordination. Disunity, in their minds comes from the fraying from the Magisterium and its protection and explanations put forth of the teachings of Christ. . The ecumenist sees this gospel as mandate for breaking down the divisions which set one group of people against another. They point to St Paul speaking to the Galatians when he says that in Christ there is “no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.”
Both views are valid, but no matter from which lens we view this gospel, the tone of this prayer from the Son to the Father on the night before his death makes it clear that the avenue to get to unity is simply through Christ’s love. As the Father and Jesus love each other, so does Jesus love his disciples, and so must his disciples love each other.
Only if the disciples, and all of us, remain in God’s love, will we be able to see Jesus’ glory, the glory that he has with the Father. And, it would be natural to project forward that this prayer focused on unity driven through love, is one that Jesus makes to this day in intercession for each of us on our behalf.
Jesus prays for us to come together as one. In fact, he sees us as one already. When Jesus looks at Christians, he does not see us as isolated individuals. He recognizes us as persons, certainly, but as persons in community with one another. He does not see us as apart from each other. His vision is that we are one. If Jesus sees us that way, the implication here is that we should see ourselves the same way.
So, let us contemplate today the Father’s love for the Son, and the Son’s love for the Father, and know that the love they have for each of us can neither be taken away or enhanced because it is love at its fullest. And let us use Christ’s words today to remind us of the pleasure that he undoubtedly gets from our efforts to find common ground, to gather, to unite and to express our love for him through each other. The answer to Christ’s prayer… is us… whenever we ourselves humbly love one another.
So, let us pray for more unity in our families, in our parish, in our local community, in our country, and in our world. Let’s extend the prayer that Jesus offers to the Father, that the world may come to know that the Father loves all of us just as he loved his only Son.
Source: Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish
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Have you ever heard someone say, “Speak up for yourself”?
Well, that’s essentially what being assertive is all about.
It’s not about being loud or bossy; it’s about expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a confident and respectful way.
Think of it as finding that perfect balance between being too passive (keeping quiet and letting others walk all over you) and being too aggressive (pushing your opinions without considering others).
Definition of Assertiveness
Assertiveness is like being the Goldilocks of communication – not too soft, not too tough, but just right.
It’s about standing up for yourself while also respecting the rights and opinions of others.
Picture this: You’re in a group discussion, and you have an idea, but you’re hesitant to share it because you’re worried about what others might think. Assertiveness would mean speaking up confidently, expressing your idea without bulldozing over others, and listening to their thoughts too.
The Importance of Assertiveness in Personal Empowerment
Why does assertiveness matter?
Well, imagine going through life never speaking up for what you want or need. It’s like sitting on the sidelines while everyone else gets to play the game.
Assertiveness is your ticket to the game – it gives you the power to take charge of your own life.
When you’re assertive, you’re more likely to get what you want, whether it’s in relationships, school, or future careers.Plus, it helps you build confidence and self-esteem because you’re showing yourself and others that your voice matters!
5 Characteristics of Assertive Behavior
Let’s dive into what it means to be assertive. Here are some key characteristics:
Clear Communication: Assertive folks are like straight shooters. They say what they mean and mean what they say, without beating around the bush. No cryptic messages or hidden agendas here!
Respect for Others: Being assertive doesn’t mean steamrolling over people’s feelings or opinions. It’s all about mutual respect. Assertive people listen to others, acknowledge their viewpoints, and respond thoughtfully.
Boundary Setting: Ever heard the phrase, “Know your boundaries”?Well, assertive people are boundary-setting masters. They know where their comfort zone ends and are not afraid to let others know.
Self-Confidence: Picture someone who walks into a room with their head held high and a smile on their face – that’s the aura of assertiveness. Assertive individuals believe in themselves and their abilities, which shines through in how they carry themselves.
Problem-Solving Skills: When conflicts arise, assertive people don’t run for cover. Instead, they tackle problems head-on, seeking win-win solutions that benefit everyone involved.
Contrasting Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication Styles
Now, let’s talk about the different ways people communicate:
Passive Communication: Have you ever heard someone talking about others being a doormat? That’s passive communication in action. People who communicate passively tend to avoid conflict at all costs. They might keep their thoughts and feelings bottled up, fearing they’ll rock the boat or upset others.
Aggressive Communication: On the flip side, aggressive communication is like a bulldozer – it runs over everyone in its path. Aggressive communicators tend to dominate conversations, disregard others’ feelings, and prioritize their own needs above all else.
Assertive Communication: And then there’s assertive communication – the sweet spot between passive and aggressive. Assertive communicators express themselves clearly and confidently, but without trampling on others’ rights. They’re firm without being aggressive, calm without being passive – they’ve got that Goldilocks balance we talked about earlier
So, which communication style do you think you lean towards?
It’s worth reflecting on – because mastering assertive communication can make a world of difference in how you navigate the ups and downs of life.
Assertiveness in Personal Relationships
Here are some assertive things you can say in your personal relationships:
“I appreciate spending time with you, but I also need some alone time to recharge.”
“I feel hurt when you cancel plans without letting me know in advance. It’s important to me that we communicate better about our schedules.”
“I value your opinion, but I have a different perspective on this matter. Let’s discuss it openly and find a compromise.”
“I need you to respect my boundaries when it comes to physical affection. Please ask for consent before hugging or kissing me.”
Assertiveness in the Workplace:
“I believe my contributions to this project are worthy of recognition. Can we discuss the possibility of a promotion or raise?”
“I’m not comfortable taking on additional tasks right now as I’m already maxed out. Let’s explore alternative solutions to manage my workload.”
“I disagree with the approach outlined in the meeting. Here’s why I think we should consider an alternative strategy.”
“I appreciate your feedback, but I stand by my decision on this matter. I’ve carefully considered the options and believe it’s the best course of action.”
Assertiveness in Conflict Resolution:
“I understand we have different perspectives on this issue, but I’m committed to finding a resolution that works for both of us.”
“I feel frustrated when our discussions turn into arguments. Can we establish some ground rules for communication to prevent this in the future?”
“I apologize if my actions were misunderstood, but I stand by my intentions. Let’s work together to address any misunderstandings and move forward.”
“I hear your concerns, but I need some time to reflect before we continue this discussion. Let’s reconvene when we’re both in a calmer state of mind, say 30 minutes?”
These examples demonstrate how assertive statements can be used to express thoughts, feelings, and boundaries in various contexts, fostering healthy communication and conflict resolution.
The Benefits of Assertiveness
Assertiveness offers a myriad of benefits,from fostering higher self-esteem to building unwavering confidence, empowering you to navigate life’s complexities with resilience and authenticity.
Research on assertiveness and self-esteem consistently shows that assertiveness is linked to higher self-esteem. By confidently expressing thoughts and needs while respecting others, you reinforce your self-worth, leading to greater overall well-being.
Practicing assertiveness empowers you, helping you confront challenges and negotiate effectively. Authentic communication fosters trust and connections with others, boosting confidence over time. Ultimately, assertiveness cultivates resilience and authenticity in navigating life’s hurdles.
Pitfalls and Challenges of Assertiveness
Assertiveness has its upsides, but it’s not without its challenges.
Fear of conflict or rejection is a big one.
Many people hold back from asserting themselves because they’re scared of arguments or being turned down. This fear often comes from past experiences where speaking up caused trouble, leading some to stick with passive communication to avoid rocking the boat.
However, avoiding assertiveness can breed frustration and hurt in relationships.
Overcoming this fear means understanding that assertive communication is vital for expressing needs and boundaries. Learning how to communicate effectively and manage emotions helps build confidence over time.
Another challenge is balancing assertiveness with empathy.
Being assertive while considering others’ feelings can be tricky. Without empathy, assertiveness might come off as aggressive or dismissive. Striking the right balance means listening actively, validating others’ emotions, and seeking solutions that work for everyone.
Lastly, societal or cultural norms can make assertiveness tough, especially in cultures that prize harmony over speaking up.
Overcoming these barriers involves challenging ingrained beliefs about communication and seeking support from those who encourage assertiveness. By recognizing its importance and advocating for your needs, you can express yourself confidently despite societal pressures.
Strategies for Building Assertiveness
Learning how to be assertive means finding ways to speak up confidently without stepping on anyone’s toes.
Let’s look at three important ways to do this:
workshops
practice
getting help when needed
These methods give you real-world advice and support, helping you become more assertive and confident in how you communicate with others.
Assertiveness Training: Assertiveness training workshops help you learn how to speak up confidently while still being respectful. In these sessions, you’ll get clear instructions and hands-on practice to improve your communication skills. You’ll learn how to express yourself confidently while also considering other people’s viewpoints.
Communication Techniques: To strengthen your assertiveness, make sure to practice key communication skills regularly. Things like saying “I feel”instead of blaming others, listening actively, and using confident body language are important. Try practicing these skills in role-playing exercises and real-life situations. Over time, you’ll feel more confident speaking up for yourself and setting boundaries.
Support: If you’re working on being more assertive, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from mentors, counselors, or support groups. Talking with others who’ve been there can give you useful advice and keep you motivated. Sharing your experiences and getting feedback can boost your confidence in expressing yourself assertively. Plus, these places offer a safe space to talk about challenges and learn new strategies.
Conclusion: Learn to Feel Empowered and Assertive
Being assertive is key to feeling empowered and confident in various situations.
It helps us express our needs, set boundaries, and build better relationships.As we work on becoming more assertive, remember that it’s a journey that requires bravery and persistence. Every step forward brings us closer to realizing our potential and enjoying the positive impact assertiveness can have on our lives.
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If you feel resistance when you try to apply lessons or find a new perspective in life, it could mean that you haven’t fully processed your emotions yet.
Practice self-compassion and patience as you let those emotions flow through you.
Think of it as a hard workout that is helping you to build strength.
Remember that there are always nuances and uncertainties in our lives.
There is more than what you can perceive right now.
Due to our negativity bias, we tend to focus more on our unfulfilled desires, unmet needs, and broken relationships.
Do not fall into the trap of extremes.
Embrace your unique concoction of experiences.
Even amidst pain and sorrow, miracles and good things are possible!
Source: Daily Motivation
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As an exorcist of 12 years, Father Lampert knows well what evil looks like.
It’s all around us. It always has been and always will be until we leave this earth, trusting that is, that our destination is ultimately heaven.
Father Lampert admits that he’s seeing more of it these days but not because there is more of it. “The devil has not upped his game, but more people are willing to play it,” he said.
Father Lampert said and referred to Matthew 24:36.
“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”
“God warns us not to get involved in the End Times,” he said. “Instead, it’s important, every day, to live our life as God calls us.” The end itself is not even something we should fear, according to him.
“If we are living our lives the way God calls us, then whenever he does call, he will find us worthy,” he explained.
“Talk of Armageddon often instills fear, but an authentic relationship with God is one of love and mercy.” Fear is the enemy of true faith, Father Lampert pointed out.
“I don’t think faith is authentic if we are living in fear,” he said. “Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, but that is about being in awe of God.
Worrying about the End Times is about the loss of hope, and it brings fear, and anxiety, and destruction. All of those things are contrary to faith.”
As an exorcist, Father Lampert said that although he fights evil head on, his ministry is about restoring a sense of hope into people’s lives.
“I do that as a parish priest as well,” he said. “It’s about helping people discover hope and joy and love. That’s the foundation of the Church and it is echoed in a lot of what Pope Francis tells us.”
How does an exorcist and parish priest find peace and comfort during these times?
In God, according to Father Lampert.
“I always find my sense of solace in the fact that God is in charge,” he said.
“It puts everything in perspective, and then the worry and fear dissipates.
When we put ourselves in charge instead, that’s what happened with Adam and Eve.” Putting God in charge gives us the power and strength not to let the world overwhelm us, Father Lampert explained. “The human person is made for more than this life,” he said “It’ not just an earthly perspective but a spiritual perspective that makes us realize we are called to be in relationship with God.”
A relationship with God is what gives us true freedom in this world, Father Lampert said. “But freedom doesn’t mean we get to do whatever we want,” he said. It means having the freedom to be obedient to God. Otherwise we become slaves to our own passions.
“Freedom and obedience go hand in hand with a relationship with God,” Father Lampert said. And with such a relationship we have nothing to fear.
Source: Catholic Christianity
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“A father used to say to his children when they were young: —When you all reach the age of 12 I will tell you the secret of life.
One day when the oldest turned 12, he anxiously asked his father what was the secret of life. The father replied that he was going to tell him, but that he should not reveal it to his brothers.
—The secret of life is this: The cow does not give milk. “What are you saying?” Asked the boy incredulously. —As you hear it, son: The cow does not give milk, you have to milk it. You have to get up at 4 in the morning, go to the field, walk through the corral full of manure, tie the tail, hobble the legs of the cow, sit on the stool, place the bucket and do the work yourself.
That is the secret of life, the cow does not give milk. You milk her or you don’t get milk. There is this generation that thinks that cows GIVE milk. That things are automatic and free: their mentality is that if “I wish, I ask….. I obtain.”
“They have been accustomed to get whatever they want the easy way…But no, life is not a matter of wishing, asking and obtaining. The things that one receives are the effort of what one does. Happiness is the result of effort. Lack of effort creates frustration.”
So, share with your children from a young age the secret of life, so they don’t grow up with the mentality that the government, their parents, or their cute little faces is going to give them everything they need in life.”
Credit goes to the respective owner
Source: Humanity. Posted in Quora by Saum Prad
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I recently met a guy who, despite having a massively successful business, an awesome lifestyle, a happy relationship, and a great network of friends, told me with a straight face, that he was thinking of hiring a coach to help him “reach the next level.”
When I asked him what this elusive next level was, he said he wasn’t sure, that that’s why he needed a coach, to point out his blind spots and show him what he’s missing out on.
In a world of rapid change, looking for certainty can obscure opportunity. Taking smaller yet bold steps provides a more sure-footed path through uncertainty.
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