Humans are wired in ways that can sometimes lead to emotional distress. One scary fact is our tendency towards confirmation bias, seeking out information that confirms our existing beliefs and ignoring anything that contradicts them. This can create closed-mindedness and make resolving conflicts incredibly difficult.
Another unsettling fact is our brains’ negativity bias. Negative experiences leave a stronger imprint on our memory than positive ones, making it harder to appreciate the good things in life and potentially leading to a more pessimistic outlook.
Success itself can be a source of psychological stress. Many successful individuals experience the impostor syndrome, a constant fear of being exposed as a fraud despite their achievements. This self-doubt can fuel anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.
Our social lives can also be affected by our psychology. We often overestimate how much others notice and care about our mistakes, a phenomenon called the spotlight effect. This can lead to crippling social anxiety and self-consciousness, hindering our ability to connect authentically with others.
Finally, making decisions can be tricky. We can fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy, clinging to choices we’ve already invested in, even if they are no longer beneficial. This can lead to wasted resources and regret, hindering our ability to adapt and move forward effectively.
These are just a few examples of how our psychology can contribute to negative emotions and make navigating daily life challenging. While not inherently scary, these psychological quirks can undoubtedly have a significant impact on our well-being and mental health.
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Much of our recovery can occur in collaboration with others.
Pain, in its various forms, is an inevitable aspect of the human experience. Often, we endure it alone. However, being part of our highly social species offers a valuable resource for coping: other people.
The impact of others on our biology is undeniable. Someone’s presence can influence another’s breathing, heart rate, and chemicals in their bloodstream. A mother’s soothing voice can stabilize her premature baby, leading to fewer cardiorespiratory events. A spouse’s hand-holding can reduce the brain’s response to the threat of electric shocks. Strong relationships can help us live longer and happier lives.
Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally paying attention to the present moment, without judgment.
It involves being fully present and aware of one’s thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and surroundings, without getting lost in distractions or the past and future.
“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller
I often find myself reflecting on the nature of grief, its unpredictable tides that ebb and flow with a rhythm known only to the heart. Grief is not a straight path but a labyrinth, where one wanders, often feeling lost and alone. It’s crucial to recognize that grief wears many masks – anger, sorrow, numbness, and even laughter. Each person’s journey through it is as unique as a fingerprint, and understanding this complexity is the first step in offering genuine support.
“When you’re deprived of a certain food, or food in general, your sensory system tends to get more aroused to make food look, smell, and taste better,” Kate Sutton, LCMHC, a therapist and certified intuitive eating counselor based in Raleigh, North Carolina, tells SELF. It’s normal to experience intense cravings for food when you’re not getting adequate calories and to specifically crave foods that you’re avoiding or heavily limiting.
We live in times in which many call good or “no big deal” what God calls sinful. This is especially true in the area of sexuality, where whole sectors of our society not only tolerate but even celebrate liberal sexual practices.
And as for consent of the will, it can be admitted that some fall occasionally in a weak moment. But consistent fornicating, with no measures taken to prevent it, is not “weakness”; it is sinful neglect of prudence and common sense.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got some behaviors that I’d love to change. You may feel the same way.
When you’ve got negative feelings to contend with, learning about the anchoring technique will suit you well.
Anchoring is a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique used by many people to foster emotional and behavioral change.
Think about how you automatically stop when you approach a stop sign. You really don’t even think about it; you just come to a complete stop.
The reason this occurs is because over time you’ve learned subconsciously that a stop sign means “Stop”, so that sign acts as an anchor. The stop sign is a stimulus, and your stopping is the response.
Pavlov’s Dog
There is a well-known psychological experiment that models this well.
Ivan Pavlov used dogs in his experiments to theorize that we can condition responses by providing certain stimuli. What Pavlov did was sound a bell just before he would feed the dogs. He did this repeatedly and then eventually, just the ringing of the bell would cause the dogs to salivate.
The bell was the stimulus, and the salivating was the response, whether food was present or not. The sound of the bell became the dogs’ anchor.
We may feel sad and not even sure why, but perhaps something triggered it. Maybe a certain smell or tone of voice by a loved one. These are considered anchors that can cause one to feel that sadness without even realizing what is occurring.
The good news is that we can learn to use anchors to change emotions, behavior, and stay focused.
Anchoring for Anxiety and Stress
Let’s take anxiety and stress for example.
We tend to carry stress and anxiety in the body quite frequently and chronic stress can create a myriad of problems. You no longer have to be prey to such anxiety and stress when you learn how to use anchors consistently.
First, think about an occurrence in your life where you were super-duper happy.
Maybe the day you got married or had a baby. Or perhaps when you hit that home run that won the big game. Now, picture yourself there and really pay attention to details.
What does it smell like?
How are you feeling?
Who is there?
Get in touch with your senses. Take a few minutes and really begin to feel the emotions that you were feeling then. Smile, laugh, and allow your heart to open and be filled with love and peace.
When you feel that your good feelings are at their peak:
place your fingers or hand somewhere on your body for a few seconds or
rub two fingers together for a few seconds
then, let go and count to 10
What you’ve done is just anchored those positive feelings. What you can do when you’re feeling anxious or highly stressed is to repeat that anchor (whatever you chose to do) and those happy and peaceful feelings should return, helping you to get through the anxious event.
Anchoring: Keep Your Focus
Now that you understand a little bit about anchoring, keep in mind that you can do this when it comes to keeping your focus too.
Let’s say you want to get your degree in nursing, yet you get anxious when you think about all the steps you need to take in order to get the ball rolling. You tense up and get scared when you think about applying to the school, picking classes, going to class, financing your education, and so on.
Now, use the anchoring technique to help you stay focused on each task one at a time.
Make a list of the steps you need to take and then just before you are to perform each one, use your anchoring technique. You’ll be surprised at how effective anchoring can be and eventually you may not even have to use the technique, as you’ll become more confident along the way.
Reprogramming Your Brain with Anchoring
If you want to learn more about anchoring, look into NLP.
This field of study has been very effective at helping people make little and big changes. You deserve to live the kind of life you desire, so learning various tools and techniques to help will help you to do so.
Give anchoring a try when it comes to changing emotions or behavior and staying focused on your goals.
You’ve got this!
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It’s hard enough to manage your own emotions during difficult times.
It’s an entirely different ball game to calm your mind when people around you are freaking out and projecting their fears onto you.
You end up feeling like you have no one to rely on.
That’s why you have to practice restoring your inner peace every single day.
For every minute you spend practicing mindfulness, you strengthen your ability to stay calm under pressure.
Difficult situations are inevitable, which means that you will still experience unpleasant emotions…
…but you won’t be paralyzed by them.
Source: Your Daily Motivation
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Emotional Resilience: How to Start Building Your Ability yo Adapt
By Krista, published on Personal Growth, Daily Motivation
Life is filled with a rollercoaster of events and emotions.
At times, it’s easy to get overwhelmed—we’ve all been there! And most of us know how unpleasant this can be, especially if you let your thoughts and emotions run away from you.
Yet, you can get back in the driver’s seat and stay in control. This all comes down to your emotional resilience.
Emotional resilience involves your ability to cope mentally and emotionally—and ultimately, stay in control of any negative emotions. This allows you to “roll with the punches” and ride that wave of life as opposed to being thrown around by it.
So, let’s dig into this topic a bit more. What makes someone emotionally resilient? And how can you become more resilient?
What Makes a Person Resilient?
You might look at your friends or family and wish you could be as resilient as them. You see them gracefully handling life’s adversities, bouncing back after pitfalls, and generally, succeeding in all they set out to do. What gives?
Here’s the thing: Emotional resilience is determined by a combination of factors including genetics (thus, if your family is good at it, you’re more likely to get or be good at it too!), environment, situational context, and personal history.
At the same time, genetics are only a small piece of the equation (no surprise there!),
This means you have more control than you realize when it comes to being more emotionally resilient.
At the same time, it’s interesting to note that experts pinpoint the state of your relationship with your parental guardian as one of significance in regard to emotional resilience. Your resilience is probably quite high if you were well-loved and cared for as a child.
On the other hand, you might struggle if you had a traumatic childhood. But the good news is that you can learn!
What Are the 7 C’s of Resilience?
Building emotional resilience comes down to seven key pieces, including the 7 C’s:
1. Control
Two major things that people need in their life are control and connection. You need to feel in control of your own life. As a teen (or partner), this can sometimes feel very limiting. You might find you cater more to your partner than yourself or you may find your parents are rather strict.
Ideally, you want the room to be able to think for yourself and make your own decisions! This can lead to a better ability to cope later on down the line.
2. Competence
When we feel competent, we feel confident.
We are able to push our comfort zone and be okay with that. By developing skills we already have, we can also develop new skills or strengths, helping us expand our emotional resilience even further.
3. Confidence
Confidence gives us the ability to explore new endeavors and even coping strategies.
It also gives us the perspective that we will be okay no matter what, guiding you toward bouncing back after tough times.
4. Connection
You probably saw this one coming! Connection is essential for every single person. It gives us a sense of community and belonging, something that is undeniably important when you’re going through a rough patch in life.
5. Character
This is your moral compass (i.e. what you stand for and your values!). Knowing these and being confident in them can help you overcome particularly stressful situations.
6. Coping
There is healthy coping and unhealthy coping. It’s important for every person to develop healthy coping mechanisms, such as self-care strategies and relaxation techniques, to help get through turbulent times.
7. Contribution
Helping others actually means you’re more likely to ask for help too.
It fosters a community and sharing approach where we lean on one another and rely on one another.
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Topics/subjects curated and collated by Jess C. Gregorio for Commission on Human Formation & Reformation (CHFR) of the Archdiocesan Shrine and Parish of St. John the Baptist (ASPSJB), Pinaglabanan, San Juan City.
You don’t even know what you want anymore.
You can’t bring yourself to wish for anything because you don’t want to get disappointed again.
The answer will find you soon. Your deepest desires are still alive in your heart!
They are buried under layers of fear.
You have to uncover these layers and reconnect to your wisdom.
Your higher self is guiding you.
Pay attention to the signs – when you read something you relate to and experience a profound sense of peace, or when you hear that faint voice of wisdom.
Do not let your fears drown out that voice.
Silence is important to access the deeper levels of wisdom.
Keep an open mind and embrace the adventure that mystery brings.
If you’ve ever released stress by dancing around your room to your favorite tunes or enjoyed a good cry with the help of a touching love song, you know how powerful music can be. It can lift you up when you’re low and calm you down when you’re anxious.
Music is a powerful tool for mood regulation and stress. The best part is, it’s always available to anyone who needs it.
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