3 Tips to Identify your Friend Confidant

Here are 3 Tips to Identify Your Confidants:

Trust Me – You Need This

We’re starting with an obvious question:

Can you trust them?

You’ll likely already have an idea of someone that you can confide in or you would like to become your confidant.

I encourage you to ask yourself:

Can I trust them?

You’ll only get the true value of having a confidant if you’re comfortable being vulnerable with them.

You won’t need to share your deepest, darkest secrets with them, but you do need to be able to share whatever you’re hoping to confide in them.

For example, I speak with Pejman Milaniand Hannah Wilson on an almost-daily basis, and I am comfortable speaking with them about the pitfalls of social media.

I’ve been able to confide in them transparently when I’ve been chasing the dopamine high of more likes and followers.

And I’ve been comfortable sharing my experience with them when facing the challenges of freelancing.

They’ve also seen me at my worst as I have wrestled with getting the balance right of pursuing my purpose while not neglecting revenue.

Without being able to share these things, I would’ve been trying to traverse this journey on my own.

But because they are both trustworthy, I’ve been able to invite them in to help me avoid that pitfalls and stay on the right path.

If you want to get the full value out of having confidants, you need to identify someone that you can truly trust.

🤨 “What Do You Mean?”

The second tip to identify a suitable confidant is finding someone who understands what you are talking about.

There’s nothing worse than having a confidant that constantly asks: 

“What do you mean?”

You’ll likely find the experience of having someone that you can confide in more infuriating than rewarding if you’re constantly having to explain what you’re going through.

Save yourself this frustration and find someone who has some understanding of the journey you’re on.

It doesn’t have to be that they’ve walked the same journey that you’re walking in its entirety, but they have to be aware of the rough area.

Going back to my example with PJ and Hannah, they’re both content creating and building online, but they’re doing it for different reasons and in different circumstances.

I’d like to think that I’m able to support Hannah and speak into her creative journey, but I’m not doing this full-time. I can’t exactly relate to the challenges she faces as a full-time visual creator.

Similarly, I support PJ on his creative journey, but I don’t know what it’s like to run live cohorts of a visual course whilst juggling parenthood and a full-time job! 

And they both speak immense value into my journey, though they don’t have the same mission of wanting to encourage people get wiser like I do.

But we all have a mutual understandingof visual communication, personal development and creating online.

If you’re looking to find confidants, identify people that have a sufficient understanding of what you’re looking to confide in.

Bakers Don’t Sell Smoothies

This is an unusual analogy, but stick with me – all will become clear.

Take a moment to imagine:

You’re looking to get into shape. 

You’ve been enjoying too many of the pastries and doughnuts from the local bakery, and so you decide that you need to lose some weight.

You’ve heard lots of great things about dieting, and in particular how smoothies are a great way to help get your 5-a-day.

So you head to your closest bakery, and ask for a banana and strawberry smoothie.

“We don’t do those. We only do baked goods.”

You probably should have known that. After all, you’ve never seen this bakery sell smoothies before, so why would you expect them to start doing smoothies just because you’re now interested in them?

Now you have a couple options:

• Either you go back to the bakery again at your next earliest opportunity and ask for another smoothie
• Or you opt to look elsewhere to find what you’re looking for

Obviously we’re not actually talking about diets, smoothies and bakeries here. 

What I’m trying to get at is that some people won’t be able to offer you what you’re looking for in a confidant.

They either won’t have the capacity or competency to help you in the way that you desire.

In these instances, look elsewhere.

You are much more likely to find your suitable confidant elsewhere than convince this person to step into the role you need them to fill.

These people may be able to grow and evolve into what you need in a confidant, but if there’s no indication from them that they’ll try to fill those expectations, don’t try to force it.

It’s tricky to convince your local bakery to start stocking smoothies.

To make it abundantly clear: I’m not suggesting that you cut these people from your life entirely.

Instead, I’m suggesting that you maintain whatever relationship you have with that person, and identify someone else to fulfils your needs for a confidant.

Ultimately you need to identify a confidant who is not only capable of being your confidant, but also identify someone who is willing to be your confidant.

Source: Wisdom Made Easy posted at Wiser Newsletter

How to be happy without trying so hard

By Dominica as posted in Daily Motivation

Most people want to feel happier emotions far more often than sad ones.

We want to feel happy and content and because of this, we do all sorts of things to try to experience such feelings. We tend to think if we work harder, make more money, read more books, have more friends, do more things, etc., that we’ll just feel happier.

It’s common to want to feel good and have our desires and dreams manifest. We want to feel and experience abundance. However, a problem arises when we don’t really know how to get from where we are, such as sad, frustrated, or miserable, to a state of happiness.

Here’s a little secret: It’s not as difficult as you think. 

The Law of Attraction: Like Attracts Like

Feeling happy and content consistently is not the monstrous job we make it out to be. It may be so simple that we miss it.

Listen to this quote by Joe Vitale:

“It’s really important that you feel good. Because this feeling good is what goes out as a signal into the universe and starts to attract more of itself to you. So the more you can feel good, the more you will attract the things that help you feel good and that will keep bringing you up higher and higher.

This sums up the law of attraction quite well.

The law of attraction has gotten pretty popular over recent years. The reason is because when people learn how to use the law to create a life they love, their life changes significantly for the better. The movie and book, The Secret, opened the eyes of millions of people to the power of thought and the law of attraction.

Basically, the law of attraction asserts that like attracts like.

It means that what you put your focus or energy on, you get more of the same. The thoughts you think act like a magnet and are attracting things to you all the time.  

You see, your thoughts affect your feelings, and your feelings affect your actions. If you are feeling terrible, chances are that your thoughts are predominantly negative. As a result of your negative thoughts and feelings, your actions will tend to be negative as well.

Feel Happier: Stop With the Negative Thoughts

For example, if you tend to think a lot about how unfair it was that your mom and dad divorced and you carry some resentment about it, you will wrestle with negative feelings like anger, depression, resentment, bitterness, and so on.  

Those negative feelings may cause you to be more apt to reach for substances that temporarily dull the pain, like alcohol or drugs. Or you may choose friends who are miserable or mean. Your thoughts influence your feelings and your feelings influence your behavior.

Should you understand these principles, then you can stop negativity and negative feelings from ruling your life.  

Now, I’m not saying you’ll never feel negative feelings, because you will. And, that’s alright. But we don’t have to stay stuck in these emotions long-term.

If you struggle with negative emotions or you simply want to have more control over your emotions, consider learning more about the law of attraction.

Everything is Energy

At the very core, everything in the world is energy, including your thoughts.  

If you know anything about energy, you understand that energy has certain vibrations known as frequencies. There are low frequencies and there are high frequencies and matter can fall in between on the scale. For example, negative thoughts and feelings have a lower frequency than positive thoughts. 

Have you ever heard people talk about the vibes of a person?  

They might say “He has great vibes,” or “Her vibes rub me the wrong way.” We are all emitting a frequency and our goal ought to be to emit higher frequencies. To raise your frequency, it is important to understand the law of attraction philosophy.

3 Ways to Raise Your Vibration and Feel Happier

1. Feel Abundant And Happy Now

If you want to feel good, it is important to raise your vibration to a higher level.  

How do you do that? 

This might sound so simple, but you simply have to FEEL GOOD in order to raise your vibration. 

Most people think it’s the other way around. They think that in order to experience positive emotions, certain things have to fall in place. They must get the promotion, the beautiful partner, the bonus, the new car, etc. in order to feel good, but it’s the opposite:

You must feel good first and THEN the good things come.

2. Monitor Your Thoughts Because They Lead to Feelings

It is so important to tend to your thoughts. If you are thinking negative thoughts, you are going to experience negative feelings, and therefore you will not feel that great. Although if you force yourself to think positively and feel good NOW, you will feel better!  

Not only will you feel good, but you will be attracting all sorts of positive things into your life.

3. Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Remember the catchy song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”? The lyrics go:

“In every life we have some trouble.

When you worry you make it double

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy now.”

Seems like Bobby McFerrin, the writer of this song, understood a bit about the dynamics of the law of attraction, as he is quite right when he says, “When you worry you make it double.”

Your feelings now are what matter. Your feelings now dictate what is in your future. As tempting as it is to stay sad, angry, or frustrated, try not to. If you do, you may be attracting more of that into your life. 

Start to Feel Happier Now 

Feel happy now. Sing a song. Dance to some good music. Laugh out loud. Pet your cat.

Do what makes you feel happier, and this is very likely to bring your mood up and you’ll feel happier.

To know everything, what is that to you?

John 21:20-25 NRSVue 

²⁰Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them; he was the one who had reclined next to Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?” ²¹When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about him?” ²²Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? Follow me!” ²³So the rumor spread among the brothers and sisters that this disciple would not die. Yet Jesus did not say to him that he would not die, but, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?”^,

²⁴This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and has written them, and we know that his testimony is true. ²⁵But there are also many other things that Jesus did; if every one of them were written down, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.

New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition (NRSVUE)

“Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.”

Some thoughts on this scripture

Each bible has a blank page at the end. This is for each of us to write our own gospel! We can note the incidents, relationships, bad times and good in our lives where Jesus was close, active, saving us, calling us and challenging us into discipleship. Can you note where and when your life with Jesus begin? Like John, we don’t know where it will end. Where is Jesus now writing his gospel in your life so that others will know is love, his call and his identity? Some good pointers for prayer!

Even as John concludes his gospel, he is aware that the words of Jesus may be misunderstood. I pray that I may be preserved from any misinterpretation of Jesus’ words as I take this time in prayer, asking God to speak directly to my heart.John had a sense that the works of Jesus were many, and that numerous books might be written. Before God, I consider the works of Jesus in my life, giving thanks for the hidden and evident ways in which I have come to life. I think of myself as a ‘gospel’, a testament to God’s loving presence and action.

Source: Sacred Space

Do you love me?

¹⁵When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” ¹⁶A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” ¹⁷He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. ¹⁸Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.” ¹⁹(He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, “Follow me.” – John 21:15-19

Reflection:

Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him. Three times confirming his love and devotion, which balances out the three times he denied Jesus. In a way, this can symbolize confession. Peter tells Jesus he loves Him three times, one “I love you” for each denial of Jesus, which becomes an act of contrition. After each “I love you,” Jesus gives Peter the task of leading His Church. This Gospel shows the power of forgiveness and just how involved God wants us to be in His church even when we make mistakes.

Throughout this scene, Peter is getting distressed because Jesus keeps asking him if he loves Him, to which Peter replies,

“Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” John 21:17

This response is something to consider. God does know everything. But does that mean we shouldn’t praise and worship Him? Does that mean we shouldn’t go to confession and ask for forgiveness?

This can also apply to our loved ones. You might believe that they know you love them, but how often do you tell them?

We can also apply this to parenthood. Do your kids ever ask you the same question repeatedly? During these moments that test our patience, we can think of Jesus saying,

“Feed my lambs.” John 21:15

We are fulfilling God’s role by taking care of our children, which can sometimes look like answering the same question and practicing patience with them. I, for one, am guilty of getting distressed like Peter at hearing the same question multiple times. This is where we need to choose to love. We “tend [Christ’s] sheep” (John 21:16) when we choose to love others and guide them to God. That is what Jesus was asking of Peter. And it is what He asks of us too.

Ponder:

When is the last time you told God that you loved Him?

Pray:

Thank You for being an all-loving and forgiving Father. Help me to guide my own family closer to You.

Source: Catholic Mom

Dynamic Leadership: Embrace Continuous Growth

“Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” – John F. Kennedy

Leadership is not a static achievement but a dynamic journey. In the fast-paced, ever-evolving world of business and society, resting on past accomplishments is a recipe for obsolescence. As a leadership and motivational expert, I emphasize that continual personal and professional development is crucial. It’s not just about acquiring new skills; it’s about fostering a mindset of perpetual growth and adaptability. Leaders who cease to evolve risk not only their own stagnation but also the vitality of their organizations.

Read curated article in full

Performance management that puts people first

Performance management systems help people continuously develop—but most companies fall short of best practices. A set of defined design choices can help guide leaders forward.

Read the curated article in full

True Unity in Mind and Heart

Jesus is the Standard for Love – John 17:20-26

If we were all suddenly a little younger and had a passion for basketball, for example, we might look to Michael Jordan, Stephen Curry, or one of the great female basketball stars in order to see how the game should be played. An aspiring writer might read Shakespeare or Hemmingway in order to see how writing should be done. If we want to know how to love, we look to Jesus who is the standard for love. Our focus on that standard brings us together in unity.

In his book, “the pursuit of God,” AW Tozer said this: “Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to the standard to which each one must individually must bow. So, one hundred worshipers (meeting) together, each one looking to Christ, are in heart, nearer to each other than they could possibly be, were they to come in “unity” focused not on God, but on trying to work things out on their own between each other.”

Today we hear the conclusion of Jesus’ prayer at his last meal with the disciples. Jesus prays not only for the disciples, but for those as he says “who will believe in me through their word.” In other words, he prays for us.

The prayer underlines the importance of remaining united to one another in Christ. Only if Christians remain united in Christ, will evangelization be fruitful and enable others to come to believe.

It’s interesting to look at the various commentaries that are available that discuss this Gospel, as it relates to Christ’s plea for unity. Some see it as a call to unify under the mantle of the Catholic Church. Others see it as a kind of charter for the ecumenical movement- bringing together Christians across all denominations.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that “Christ bestowed unity on his Church from the beginning”, and that unity “subsists in the Catholic Church”. This vision of unity comes from accepting that Christ is head and that he chose to lead us through Saint Peter and all the popes and bishops who came from his line of ordination. Disunity, in their minds comes from the fraying from the Magisterium and its protection and explanations put forth of the teachings of Christ.
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The ecumenist sees this gospel as mandate for breaking down the divisions which set one group of people against another. They point to St Paul speaking to the Galatians when he says that in Christ there is “no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.”

Both views are valid, but no matter from which lens we view this gospel, the tone of this prayer from the Son to the Father on the night before his death makes it clear that the avenue to get to unity is simply through Christ’s love. As the Father and Jesus love each other, so does Jesus love his disciples, and so must his disciples love each other.

Only if the disciples, and all of us, remain in God’s love, will we be able to see Jesus’ glory, the glory that he has with the Father. And, it would be natural to project forward that this prayer focused on unity driven through love, is one that Jesus makes to this day in intercession for each of us on our behalf.

Jesus prays for us to come together as one. In fact, he sees us as one already. When Jesus looks at Christians, he does not see us as isolated individuals. He recognizes us as persons, certainly, but as persons in community with one another. He does not see us as apart from each other. His vision is that we are one. If Jesus sees us that way, the implication here is that we should see ourselves the same way.

So, let us contemplate today the Father’s love for the Son, and the Son’s love for the Father, and know that the love they have for each of us can neither be taken away or enhanced because it is love at its fullest. And let us use Christ’s words today to remind us of the pleasure that he undoubtedly gets from our efforts to find common ground, to gather, to unite and to express our love for him through each other. The answer to Christ’s prayer… is us… whenever we ourselves humbly love one another.

So, let us pray for more unity in our families, in our parish, in our local community, in our country, and in our world. Let’s extend the prayer that Jesus offers to the Father, that the world may come to know that the Father loves all of us just as he loved his only Son.

Source: Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish

Love one another

Scripture text

John 15: 9-17

Introduction

John’s gospel is often called ‘the fourth gospel’ to distinguish it from the synoptic gospels: Matthew, Mark and Luke. Authorship is traditionally attributed to John ‘the beloved disciple’, but the final version of the text was probably the work of several editors. The other texts in the Christian Scriptures which are attributed to John – the three letters and the book of Revelation – are unlikely to have been written by the author of the fourth gospel. The gospel was probably written in the last decade of the first century CE – later than the other gospels. 

The gospel of John is commonly divided into four parts: 1. Prologue (1:1-18); 2. Book of Signs (1:19-12:50); 3. Book of Glory (13:1-20:31); and 4. Epilogue (21:1-25). The language of the gospel is sophisticated, but many of the symbols used are drawn from everyday life, for example, life, light, bread, water, shepherd, door and way.

There are considerable differences between John and the synoptic gospels. There are no infancy or baptism narratives and there is no mention of the institution of the Eucharist in John’s account of the Last Supper. Further, in the synoptics the true identity of Jesus as Messiah is revealed to the disciples over time and only fully disclosed towards the end of the narratives; but in John, the disciples know that Jesus is the Messiah from the outset. Also, the Kingdom is not the central focus of Jesus’ teaching in John as it is in the synoptics. Rather it is Jesus himself who is the focus. This is evident from the mystical prologue in which Jesus is identified as pre-existent and the incarnate Word of God. Here we can see the framework of an incarnational Christology emerging.

In the second part of the gospel – the Book of Signs – John gives evidence about the true identity of Jesus in the form of signs, which are seen and heard. The verbs ‘see’ and ‘hear’ are strongly associated with ‘believe’ for John.

The central theme of John’s theology is life, and Jesus is the source of life. It is Jesus, the Son of God and Son of Man, who draws together heaven and earth in order that believers may share in the life of God and in the glory that comes with eternal life.

For more information about the Gospel of John see the New American Bible, Revised Edition (NABRE), Introduction to John.

World behind the text

Not much is known of the Johannine communitybut it is thought to have been situated in Ephesus (Seljuk in modern Turkey). In Early Christian times, Ephesus was the fourth largest sea port in the Roman Empire. It was a prosperous city and an influential centre of Christianity for many centuries after the Gospel of John was written.

It is not likely that the membership of the Johannine community was actually Jewish: it was probably a mixed group of those with Jewish and those with  Gentile heritage. There may have been tensions between the two groups: the former favouring the humanity of Jesus and the latter his divinity. Some scholars think that the book may have been written to resolve these tensions.

John’s gospel is notable for its sympathetic portrayal of women, who play prominent and significant roles as disciples and witnesses in the text. This is particularly evident in the case of the Samaritan woman who had an extraordinary and revelatory conversation with Jesus (4:4-42) and in the story of the women who were the first witnesses to the resurrection (20:11-18). These instances indicate a mutual relationship in discipleship and ministry between women and men, which may have existed in the Johannine community. 

World of the Text

This passage is one of the Last Supper discourses and it is part of the third section of John’s gospel, that is, the Book of Glory. Here John stresses unity with Jesus and loving one another. Reading between the lines, this may be an indication of the hostile conditions in which the Johannine community was situated. More importantly, John is hinting that Jesus’ time is ending. John points to Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross as the ultimate example of love. The relationship between Jesus and the disciples deepens here: they are no long master and servants, but friends. Also, Jesus is passing the baton, so to speak, to the disciples: they are ‘appointed’ (v 16) to serve in the world.

Jesus is about to go from the world, and the disciples are given the mission to carry on in his place. Their role is to live in love so that they can ‘go out and bear fruit’ (v 16). Their relationship with the Father is assured through their friendship with Jesus: the Father will give them all that they need.

World in front of the text

This text is about the practice of Christian charity. Jesus makes the connection between relationship and responsibility: friendship with Jesus requires that we live by the law of love. This means developing peaceful and caring relationships with others. Further, friends of Jesus are called to continue his mission to share God’s love with all those we meet. Bringing ‘joy to the world’ is characteristically Christian, but not without working for peace and justice.

Source: Catholic Identity

Take courage, I have conquered the world.

By Fr. Alfonse

Jn 16:29-33 Christ’s Story

The disciples said to Jesus, “We believe that you came from God.”  Jesus answered them, “Do you believe now?  Behold, the hour is coming when each of you will be scattered to his own home and you will leave me alone.  I have told you this so that you might have peace in me.  In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.”   

The emergency line rang early in the morning on Wednesday.  I could barely understand what was being said to me.  It was the voice of a woman, but in between cries and sighs, she was telling me that her father was passing away.  She wanted him to receive the anointing of the sick.  I got out of my bed and rushed to get there.  What I saw was absolutely beautiful.

His bedroom was crowded with people; most of them young.  They were all waiting for me.  They had gathered inside his room, around his bed.  I counted six young people, three older women, and an older gentleman.  Each of them were holding or touching something:  a hand, an arm, the forehead, his side, his leg.  They were all crying.  He had come to this country with very little and, by the looks of his home, he was leaving behind very little.  But then I remembered the cars that were parked outside the home:  a BMW, a Mercedes and a Lexus.  

I asked them who they were. “I’m his wife”, said one.  “I’m his mother.”  “I’m his sister.”  Then the six young people around his bed said they were his children.  They were all a mess.  Like the phone call this morning, they could barely talk.  They were busy wiping their eyes, blowing their nose, looking away.  I told them, “You really love your father.”  They all nodded in agreement.  They told me that he had worked like an animal all his life and when he was finally able to retire, cancer struck.  They said that they grew up with very little, but had it all.  While other kids had a pool in the back of their home, he would take the hose and water them down.  When they went to school, they didn’t have the fancy stuff that most had but they always had pens, paper and dictionary in hand.  The other kids, who had it all, would always borrow a pen or a piece of paper from them.  It was funny.  They dressed well but didn’t have any school supplies.  We thought they were the poor kids.  Only later did they realize what they had and what most others did not have:  a family; a father that loved them and would die for them.

And die he did.  He gave his life for them.  

He had raised his children well.  They were proud of their dad.  Without him they would never have been the very successful people they are today.  They understand that; they always did.  And they had promised him that they would repeat it in their lives as well.  He loved them to death.  He gave them the best.  He got them through life as far as he could with his knuckles and knees.  He taught them what really mattered:  God, family and love.  He never asked for anything in return except that they give their best to God and that they love one another.

This story is repeated often, but not often enough.  Our story can be the story of His story which is The Only Story; the story that goes like this:  Beaten and rejected, He conquered the world through love.  

The Lord told his disciples, “In the world you will have trouble.”  Yes.  How true it is!  We all know this is true.  No proof is required for I will feel the weight of the world upon my shoulders; I will feel the incredible burden of responsibility upon my very knees; I know I am surrounded by troubles.  My victories are bittersweet.  Tears are shed far too often.  My fears and doubts must be confronted; sometimes one at a time, sometimes all at once.  I must erase pain of recent memories.  I must drive Loneliness out of my life.  But if I can persevere in love, then I shall conquer it all.  Love conquers all things because God is love and God conquers all things, even death itself.  

I can do this.  I can do this too because I was made to love and I can drive love through all things.  

Take courage. I have told you this so that you might have peace in Him.

How to get what you prayed for

1) Opening prayer

Lord God, merciful Father,

it is hard for us to accept pain,

for we know that You have made us

for happiness and joy.

When suffering challenges us

with a provocative “why me?”

help us to discover the depth

of our inner freedom and love

and of all the faith and loyalty

of which we are capable,

together with, and by the power of,

Jesus Christ our Lord.

2) Gospel Reading – John 16:23b-28

Jesus said to his disciples: “Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you. Until now you have not asked anything in my name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. “I have told you this in figures of speech. The hour is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figures but I will tell you clearly about the Father. On that day you will ask in my name, and I do not tell you that I will ask the Father for you. For the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me and have come to believe that I came from God. I came from the Father and have come into the world. Now I am leaving the world and going back to the Father.”

3) Reflection

• John 16:23b: The disciples have full access to the Father. This is the assurance that Jesus gives to His disciples: they can have access to God’s fatherhood in union with Him.  Jesus’ mediation takes the disciples to the Father. Clearly, the role of Jesus is not that of substituting Himself for “His own.”  He does not assume it by means of a function of intercession, but He unites them to Himself, and in communion with Him they present their needs.

The disciples are certain that Jesus can access the riches of the Father: “In all truth I tell you, anything you ask from the Father in My name, He will grant it to you” (v.23b). In such a way, it means, in union with Him, the petition becomes effective. The object of any petition to the Father must always be joined to Jesus, that is to say, to His love and to His commitment to give His life for man (Jn 10:10). Prayer addressed to the Father, in the name of Jesus, in union with Him (Jn 14:13; 16:23), is heard.

Until now they have not asked anything in the name of Jesus, but they will be able to do it after His glorification (Jn 14:13) when they will receive the Spirit who will fully enlighten them on His identity (Jn 4, 22ff) and will create the union with Him. His own will be able to ask and receive the fullness of joy when they will go from the sensory vision of Him to that of faith.

• Jn 16:24-25: In Jesus the direct contact with the Father. The believers are taken into the relationship between the Son and the Father. In Jn 16:26 Jesus once again speaks about the link produced by the Spirit that permits His own to present every petition to the Father in union with Him. That will take place “on that day.” What does this mean: “On that day you will ask”? It is the day when He will come to His own and will transmit the Spirit to them (Jn 20:19,22). It is then that the disciples, knowing the relationship between Jesus and the Father, will know that they will be listened to. It will not be necessary for Jesus to intervene between the Father and the disciples to ask on their behalf, not because His mediation has ended, but they, having believed in the Incarnation of the Word, and being closely united to Christ, will be loved by the Father as He loves His Son (Jn 17:23,26). In Jesus the disciples experience direct contact with the Father.

• John 16:26-27: The prayer to the Father. To pray consists, then, in going to the Father through Jesus; to address the Father in the name of Jesus. The expression of Jesus in vv. 26-27, “And I do not say that I shall pray to the Father for you; because the Father Himself loves you”, deserves special attention. The love of the Father for the disciples is founded on the adherence of “His own” to Jesus on faith in His provenance, the acknowledgment of Jesus as gift of the Father.

After having gathered the disciples to Himself Jesus seems to withdraw from His role of mediator, but in reality He permits that the Father take us and seize us: “Ask and you will receive and so your joy will be complete” (v.24). Inserted into the relationship with the Father through union in Him, our joy is complete and prayer is perfect. God always offers His love to the whole world, but such a love acquires the sense of reciprocity only if man responds. Love is incomplete if it does not become reciprocal: as long as man does not accept,  it remains in suspense. However, the disciples accept it at the moment in which they love Jesus and thus they render operational the love of the Father. Prayer is this relationship of love. In the end the history of each one of us is identified with the history of His prayer, even at the moments which do not seem to be such.  Longing, yearning is already prayer and in the same way, searching, anguish…

4) Personal questions

• Does my personal and community prayer take place in a state of calmness, silence, and great peace?

• How much effort or commitment do I dedicate to growing in friendship with Jesus? Are you convinced of attaining a real identity through communion with Him and in the love for neighbor?

• How do I view my union with Jesus, reflecting on Song of Songs 2:16, “My beloved is mine, and I am his” ?

• Do I pray in union with Jesus, or with my own ideas and agenda?

5) Concluding Prayer

God reigns over the nations,

seated on His holy throne.

The leaders of the nations rally

to the people of the God of Abraham. (Ps 47:8-9)

Source: Carmelites Lectio Divina