Here’s how to get a writer’s body in seven days (the familiar story goes). Spend hours hunched over a keyboard in low light, exercising nothing but your eyelids and your finger muscles. Subsist on coffee, cigarettes, and the occasional croissant. Drink no water; whiskey’s better. Look up at your heroes on the wall: sickly, malnourished, funny-looking people who died of lupus and liver failure on the hot trail of the truth. If you don’t look just like them, you’re not working hard enough. Sacrifice your body for your art.
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